She stood in the storm and
when the wind did not blow her away,
she adjusted her sails.
After transplant and the resulting remission, I became more and more confident as I went to my monthly appointments. Yes, I did worry about my blood counts before each visit to my doctor, but it became somewhat routine as my light chain numbers stayed in the normal range. I was still living month to month, but without as much of the earlier angst. Being realistic about my diagnosis, I knew that at some point this almost comfortable routine would come to an end and it did. Relapse is a reality now but it has not blown me away.
Now that I am relapsing but not in treatment yet, I feel completely in limbo and "adjusting my sails" has filled me with questions. Will my next appointment on February 6 change everything? Will my lambda light chain rise again? Will my doctor decide it is time to do something or will we continue watchful waiting? If treatment is the decision, what will it be and how will I respond to it? Will it work?
So many questions. . .